How do you solve a problem like Methos?
by Agent R
Summary: Duncan and Richie come across Methos after being suspected dead for 3 weeks. They find him beaten to a bloody pulp, and perfect memory of his whole life, but no memory of who he is. Set before Judgement Day, hope you enjoy.
1. Default Chapter

How do You Solve A Proble like Methos?  
  
Author's note: This story is set shortly before Judgement Day.  
  
Duncan was getting ready to go out on his morning run, he slipped downstairs trying not to wake Richie, he was currently staying with him as a guest, and if there's one thing Duncan remembered, it's that it was rude to wake your guests at 6 in the morning.  
  
"Going somewhere?" Richie asked.  
  
"I thought you were in bed," Duncan said.  
  
"Not me, have you ever tried that Jolt cola? It lives up to its tagline," Richie said.  
  
"I'm going on my morning run, you interested in coming?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Sure, why not? I still got plenty of caffiene to work out of my system," Richie said.  
  
As Duncan was ready to head out the door, his cell phone rang, it was Joe.  
  
"Joe, you sound winded, something the matter?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Yeah, actually there is something wrong," Joe replied.  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"Well, we.....the Watchers are having trouble, one of the Immortals can't be found anywhere, a real important one too," Joe said.  
  
"Is it anyone I know?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Yes," Joe replied.  
  
"Okay, how important is he?" Duncan asked.  
  
"That just depends, how important do you consider a 5,000 year old man?" Joe asked.  
  
Duncan's heart rose to his throat and dropped to his stomach, "No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You've got to be kidding," Duncan said.  
  
"What is it?" Richie asked.  
  
"Just a minute Rich...what are you talking about, Joe?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Well, a few weeks ago, a friend of mine in the Watchers, Jack Shapiro, he said that there was a message from Adam Pierson saying Methos was nowhere to be found," Joe said.  
  
"So what? Methos is always leaving them messages like that, that's how he remains a myth," Duncan said.  
  
"You don't understand, when he gave that report, he was in Swedan, that was 4 weeks ago, we've tried contacting him as Adam, 7 times, we had 5 other Watchers go to Swedan, and they searched the entire area for the next 3 countries, he's not there. We've heard nothing from him, and last night, we received a message from another Watcher saying that both of them are dead," Joe said.  
  
"Are you serious?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Dammit MacLeod, I'm dead serious!" Joe replied.  
  
  
  
"Wait a minute," Duncan said.  
  
However, Joe kept talking everytime Duncan tried to speak to him.  
  
"SHUTUP FOR A MINUTE!" Duncan yelled, "if you knew about this, why didn't you call me sooner?"  
  
"I didn't know, I was away on business, and I just got back last night and that's when I heard," Joe said.  
  
"So why're you calling me?" Duncan asked.  
  
"There's no proof that he's dead, nobody's seen or heard anything, which gives us reason to believe he's still alive, I don't know where he is, but if there's a possibility he could wind up where you are...Let me know if you hear anything," Joe said.  
  
"Okay," Duncan hung up.  
  
"What's going on?" Richie asked.  
  
"That was Joe, the Watchers got a message saying that both Methos and Adam Pierson are dead. Methos was abroad in Swedan for 3 weeks, after one message, he stopped reporting to the Watchers, 5 of them went there looking for him, and they searched in the next 3 countries and couldn't find him there either. There's no proof that he's dead, nobody's talking about it, so he said if he should end up here to..let him know," Duncan said.  
  
"You think he will?" Richie asked.  
  
"I doubt it, Methos is a man of the world and all that junk, come on, let's get moving before it's too late," Duncan said.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Winter in Seacouver was less than pleasant where Duncan was having his morning run, while he had no trouble with it, Richie kept stepping and jumping over the ice and mud and thiiiick snow.  
  
"This is ridiculous," Richie said.  
  
"I thought you said you run," Duncan laughed.  
  
"I did, I just didn't say in what weather," Richie said.  
  
Duncan laughed it off, but soon saw the lad was falling behind.  
  
"Need a break?" he asked.  
  
"I just need a minute to catch my breath," Richie replied.  
  
"Have it your way then," Duncan sat down.  
  
"Mac, how in the world do you do this every day?" Richie gasped.  
  
"I've had plenty of time to practice," Duncan said.  
  
"I guess after 400 years, you find time for stuff," Richie said.  
  
"Well it helps," Duncan replied.  
  
They picked up on their run again, about a mile down the road, Richie slipped and fell into the snow face first.  
  
"Why does this not surprise me? I'm trying to get through my run before anybody can slice me into a pizza, and you're jumping in a snowbank," Duncan told him.  
  
"What do you have to worry about?" Richie asked.  
  
"Plenty, last week I was down here on my run, someone beat me over the head, I rolled downhill and was stuck with the business end of a rapier at my jugular vein," Duncan said.  
  
"Man, what'd you do?" Richie asked.  
  
"Well I- you don't really want to know, let's get going before we..."  
  
Both of them stopped dead in their tracks when a buzz came over them, there was an Immortal nearby.  
  
"Wonderful, did you make any new enemies this week?" Richie asked.  
  
"None that I can think of, how bout you?" Duncan asked.  
  
"You forget who I am? I make plenty of enemies, but hardly any Immortals," Richie said.  
  
"Wonderful....down this hill we can get to the car, I think from there on out we should be okay," Duncan said.  
  
"Well since you put it that way..."  
  
Richie jumped and rolle down the hill onto the street and Duncan followed closely behind. When they got their swords, they realized that the Immortal was closing in on them. In a split second, the figure dropped from the hillside and on top of Duncan, he was ready to throw him off and behead him when he came to a horrifying conclusion. Duncan threw down his sword and brought the man's head up.  
  
"Methos?"  
  
It was hard to tell at first, but indeed it was Methos, who had had the daylights beaten out of him. There was blood all over his face, most of it was fresh, and he barely got any sound to come out of his mouth except for a few groans. He seemed to be going in and out of consciousness as well, Duncan was sure of one thing, if he had been going around like this for 3 weeks, it's a wonder no one put him in the psycho ward.  
  
"Richie..."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
Richie pulled Methos off of Duncan and kept a hold on him since he seemed to be more than slightly off balance.  
  
"Richie, put him in the car and keep an eye on him, I have to call someone and I'll join you," Duncan took out his cell phone, he waited until Richie was too far away to hear him, "hello, Joe...We've got him."  
  
End of chapter 1 


	2. Finding the Problem

Finding the Problem  
  
Joe had agreed to meet Duncan over at the shop so they could explain Methos'....conditon.  
  
"As you can see, he's been beaten to a bloody pulp for one, being the oldest Immortal alive, whoever did it must've had some real experience with domestic violence," Duncan started.  
  
"I can see that," Joe said.  
  
"And second, he doesn't talk much other than a few grunts, but when he does, it's like he's back in the 14th Century, as far as I know, he has absolutely no recollection as to who he is whatsoever," Duncan said.  
  
"You mean Methos has magnesia?" Richie asked.  
  
"Amnesia Richie," Duncan corrected him, "magnesia is a part of magnesium, that's something put in V8, it's supposed to help you.......never mind."  
  
"No kidding, for once the smart aleck old man's got nothing to say?" Joe asked.  
  
Joe walked over to Methos and waved his hands in front of his eyes, but his eyes didn't follow.  
  
"Hey Methos," Joe said, "you have any idea who I am?"  
  
Methos looked at him for a few minutes then came to a conclusion, "of course I do, Mr. Truman, I should hope it's a good day at the polls today."  
  
Methos took Joe's hand and shook it, Richie turned around with a bug-eye look, "Truman? You ARE older than I thought."  
  
Joe started laughing, all the times that he and Methos had traded insults, and he didn't have anything insulting to say.  
  
"What do you know? So, what're you gonna do with him?" Joe asked.  
  
"Well, first thing's first, seeing as how he hasn't healed, he must've been recently attacked, so I called a doctor to come look at him, he should be here pretty soon," Duncan said.  
  
"A doctor? What for?" Joe asked, "Don't Immortals heal by themselves?"  
  
"Joe, I don't have anyplace to put him, if someone comes in here and sees him like this, they're going to want to know why a doctor hasn't looked at him, this way if someone comes in, they won't get suspicious," Duncan said, "I should just hope he gets here soon."  
  
"What and ruin the fun? As long as he's got no idea who he is, the Watchers can still believe that Adam Pierson is dead, and Methos is abroad somewhere in Norway. Should they try and find him here, they'll see this guy, think Adam Pierson just got knocked out and shanghied and is suffering permanent brain damage," Joe said.  
  
"Yeah, and if that happens, they're going to find a new Watcher for Methos, one who can actually find him and be the end of him," Duncan reminded him, "we have to find a way to get him to remember who he is."  
  
"Like I said, and ruin all the fun?" Joe repeated.  
  
"Joe."  
  
"Kidding, I'm kidding, come on, can't a 47-year-old man have a few laughs now and then?" Joe asked.  
  
"Not when it means putting someone's life on the line," Duncan said.  
  
Richie was behind the counter in the shop going through a few things when he pulled out a mallet from the stock.  
  
"Hey, I got an idea, if one round of being beaten to a pulp made him lose his memory, then..."  
  
"Whoa whoa whoa, hold it Richie," Duncan grabbed the mallet, "we don't even know where he got hit, much less what caused him to lose his mind, so before you beat out every anatomy he has, give me the mallet."  
  
"Okay," Richie let go.  
  
Duncan had put too much force into grabbing the mallet and it went backwards with him, he landed against a display case on a shelf, Duncan looked around, and found himself surrounded by dozens of sword blades just ready to slice his body up like a pizza.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Dr. Graves came by to examine Methos, and was in shock when he arrived.  
  
"My God, what happened to him?" he asked.  
  
"We're not exactly sure, he'd been missing for a while, we thought he was dead," Joe said.  
  
"Being in this sort of condition, I can see why," Dr. Graves said.  
  
Methos seemed to be comatose for the moment, he didn't have any reaction to the doctor looking him over until about half an hour into it.  
  
"Who are you?" Methos asked.  
  
"I am Dr. Robert Graves," he replied.  
  
"Graves? Oh yes, now I remember you, how are things looking for our side at the battle field?" Methos asked.  
  
"I beg your pardon?" Dr. Graves asked.  
  
"Well, you're one of the medical experts during this war, aren't you?" Methos asked.  
  
"I'm sorry, which war?" Dr. Graves asked.  
  
"Don't be a moron, the Civil War of course, Robert Graves M.D.," Methos said.  
  
"That was my great, great grandfather," Dr. Graves realized, "I'm Robert Graves V."  
  
"Well that's great," Methos said, "but what are you doing here in 1898?"  
  
"Is he serious?" Dr. Graves turned to Richie.  
  
"Well like we said, he was missing for some time, we don't know what happened, he might've suffered a blow to the head," Richie said.  
  
"Oh, I see," Dr. Graves turned back around, "I'm going to have to move you onto the table so I can finish the examination."  
  
"Okay, but I recommend you heat up your hands first, there's been an awful breakout of Typhoid lately," Methos said.  
  
Joe and Richie moved him up onto the table while Dr. Graves looked him over, after a while, it seemed most of hard work was done, now for the everyday stuff.  
  
"While I'm here, I better have a lookover so you don't end up being rushed to the OR anytime soon, say 'ah'," Dr. Graves said.  
  
  
  
"Ahhhhhhh."  
  
"Say it's a fraud."  
  
"You said it, not me," Methos said.  
  
"Take a drink of water, but don't swallow......now say pink pill."  
  
"Pink pill!" Methos spit on the doctor, Richie and Joe.  
  
"What's going on in here?" Duncan walked in.  
  
"I can honestly say I have no idea," Joe told him.  
  
Duncan heard a voice in the distance calling him, or at least he thought, as time went by, the voice got louder, until it sounded right next to him.  
  
"Wake up, MacLeod."  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Duncan opened his eyes and saw Joe looking down at him, he shot up off the couch and onto the chandelier.  
  
"Joe, don't you know it's not good to sneak up on an old man?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Who're you telling?" Joe laughed.  
  
"What's going on?" Duncan asked.  
  
"You fell asleep, the doctor's just getting through examining Methos, and I hope you can explain why he's having mental spills, he keeps talking like a History book," Joe said.  
  
Up came the doctor, Duncan jumped off the chandelier and next to him.  
  
"Your friend seems to be in excellent physical health now, but he seems to keep calling out different dates and names, do you have any idea as to why that might be?" he asked.  
  
"Well," Duncan knew he had to come up with a good lie quick, "He's a History teacher and he's gotten so overworked lately that he keeps rambling on about the reports."  
  
"If I got that overworked, they'd put me in the loony bin," the doctor said, "physically, it's nothing permanent, mentally, he's beyond all hope I think. But I'm not a psychiatrist."  
  
"I'll say, if you were, you'd arrange an apointment and charge $270 up front," Duncan told him.  
  
After the doctor left, they decided to see what kind of mental condition he was in. He appeared to be in a comatose state of mind for the moment.  
  
"Methos," Duncan shook him, "Methos."  
  
Methos opened his eyes slightly, "who is it?"  
  
"It'd Duncan, Duncan MacLeod," he said.  
  
"MacLeod? No- no, he died..."  
  
Everyone exchanged puzzled looks when he said that, he hadn't quite gotten everything he had to say out, but he picked up after that.  
  
"He's....he's dead....Duncan MacLeod is dead....we lost him..."  
  
Well, now no one was sure what to think about this.  
  
End of chapter 2 


	3. Questions but no Answers

Plenty of Questions, but no Answers  
  
  
  
"What did you say?" Joe asked.  
  
".....Duncan MacLeod is dead," Methos repeated.  
  
It looked like he was talking in his sleep, he didn't even have to look them straight in the eye for him to know that they were listening.  
  
"He must be dellusional," Duncan said.  
  
"Hold on MacLeod...what do you mean dead?" Joe asked.  
  
"Uh.....we found his body in Brooklyn......4 weeks ago," Methos answered, "he had lost his head."  
  
"Are you sure?" Richie asked.  
  
"Shhhhhhhh!"  
  
"Any idea why he was in Brooklyn in the first place?" Joe asked.  
  
".......the Game........he went because of the Game," Methos said.  
  
After that, Methos was beyond wasted, as bad a shape as he was in, lighting firecrackers in his boxers wouldn't wake him up.  
  
"You got any idea on this?" Joe asked.  
  
"4 weeks ago, I had gone to Brooklyn on a business trip, came across an Immortal named Adolf Kane, he left me in about as bad shape as Methos is right about now, but I got him in the end," Duncan said.  
  
"4 weeks ago...that's when he sent the message that he'd gone missing and Adam Pierson was looking for him," Joe said, "why would he give us THAT message if he thought YOU were dead?"  
  
"Maybe he didn't think I was dead at the time, maybe it just didn't hit him until now, the subconscious mind will hide things from one's brain until some given point you know," Duncan said.  
  
"Well, now what'll we do with him?" Joe asked.  
  
"I don't know, he's bound to heal pretty quickly, but his mental state.....I don't think we should let him out of our sight...Come on Rich."  
  
"Where we going?" Richie asked.  
  
"We're going to go put up a room for him," Duncan said.  
  
"Okay," Richie said, "Who's he shacking up with? You or me?"  
  
"Come on!" Duncan jerked him.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Methos slowly came around and was more than dazed to say the least, he looked around and had no idea where he was, although it did resemble a hospital he was kept in during 1831. Richie came in carrying a few things.  
  
"Ah, I see you're up, maybe now you're somewhat all here, so, you're the 5,000 year old wise Methos huh? Mac's told me a lot about you," Richie said.  
  
Methos tried figuring out who this boy was that came in his room, then something hit him.  
  
"Ah, you must be Tommy's boy," he said.  
  
"What?" Richie asked.  
  
"Tommy, surely you know you're old man by now, hell, he's over a hundred and he knows me," Methos told him.  
  
"Apparently you still haven't recovered, maybe I should call Mac up here," Richie said.  
  
"So how are the other patients?" Methos asked.  
  
Richie turned around and realized Methos was right next to him, and if he didn't know any better, he'd almost swear that all the gesturing he was doing was flirting, which helped Richie reach one important decision.  
  
"MAAAC!"  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"What if he keeps this up? What if he keeps thinking that you're dead and I'm Harry Truman, and who knows what he thinks Richie is," Joe said in the kitchen.  
  
"Well I'll give you a clue," Richie entered the room.  
  
"How is he?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I think it's time we consider getting Methos his own personal nurse," Richie said, "I am not going back in that room if he's going to be getting THAT friendly again."  
  
"What?" Duncan spit his drink, "He kissed you?!"  
  
"Twice, I know the guy's 5,000 years old and he must've tried a lot of different things, Mac, you know I wanna try different things before someone takes my head. But what Methos has in mind clearly is not one of them!" Richie said.  
  
"Allright, I go see what's gotten into that old bat, you 2 stay down here incase he tries to make a break for it," Duncan told them.  
  
"Joe, let me ask you a question," Richie started.  
  
"Don't worry, there are some things I'D like to try before I die, but that's not one of them either," Joe told him.  
  
Duncan came back into the kitchen, "Where is he?"  
  
"What?" Richie asked, "Are you serious?"  
  
"Yes I'm serious, went in his room and he wasn't there, he's not anywhere on this floor," Duncan said.  
  
"Mac, that's impossible, we know when an Immortal's nearby and when they're leaving, it's like bat radar, how could he slip through it?" Richie asked.  
  
"I don't know, but I'm going to ask Houdini that as well if and when we catch him," Duncan said.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Come two hours later, Richie and Duncan had torn half of Seacouver apart and they still hadn't found Methos.  
  
"This is ridiculous," Richie said.  
  
"For once, I agree," Duncan said.  
  
The Immortal buzz hit the two as Joe came through the door with Methos nabbed by his collar.  
  
"Is this the bum?" Joe laughed.  
  
"Where was he?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Past Route 3, in an abandoned house which he apparently took up residence in, he was getting dressed like a general from the Civil War, he asked me to help him get ready because he had to load his gun and ship out in an hour...do you think it's possible for Immortals to suffer Alzheimers?" Joe asked.  
  
"If they got old enough..." Duncan started, "No, no, no, he does not have Alzheimers, what he has is a hopeless case, we don't know what happened to him, we don't know where he's been for the last 3 weeks, we don't know what the damage is, we don't evey know what he's thinking!"  
  
Methos sat on the couch, Duncan jerked him up and slapped him, "Methos, do you know who I am?"  
  
Methos looked at Duncan for a few minutes, "why yes I do."  
  
"That's a relief," Duncan fell on the floor.  
  
"Who is he?" Joe asked.  
  
"Paul Revere," Methos said.  
  
"That's not a relief!" Ducnan jumped on all fours and ran around on the floor.  
  
"You know what Rich? The next few days with Methos might not be easy, but I got a feeling it's going to be a hell of a lot of fun," Joe said.  
  
End of chapter 3 


	4. Where are You?

Where Are You?  
  
"This is ridiculous, how could this happen? How DID this happen? Methos is the oldest living Immortal, surely he couldn't have just been taken down by anyone, it had to be a group of them, or something," Duncan thought.  
  
"Well whatever it is, I say we find a good psychiatrist," Joe said.  
  
"Good idea, but what happens if when he recovers, he still babbles on about the places he's been in time? How are we going to explain that?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I don't know, maybe he has an address book on him, someone who can help..."  
  
"What?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Well people usually write down addresses and phone numbers in a small book, if they're traveling, they usually keep it incase they decide to drop in on them, have you checked his pockets?" Joe asked.  
  
"What do I look like? A cat burglar? No I didn't check his pockets, Joe, what moron goes through someone's pockets during a crisis like this?" Duncan asked.  
  
Richie entered the living room with a small book in his hand, "I went through his pockets, found a wallet containing $2,000, a lighter, a couple of matches, and an address book."  
  
"Figures," Duncan muttered, "I ask what moron and I get one"  
  
"What?" Richie asked.  
  
"I said figures, you can't find a smart Immortal when you need one. Anyone could've picked his pockets between now and 3 weeks ago when he disappeared, gotten ahold of the people in his book, tracked them down, maybe even killed them....why didn't they pick his pockets?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Who's they?" Richie asked.  
  
"They, him, her, it, I don't care Richie!" Duncan exclaimed.  
  
"Wait a minute, what if no one did this to him?" Joe asked.  
  
"What?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Well, think about it, if he HAD come across an Immortal, he wouldn't have let him live, but then agian, being 5,000 years old and supposedly wise and full of knowledge and all that crap, he wouldn't lose a fight against any other Immortal," Joe explained.  
  
"What if there's one older than him and the Watchers just don't have any records?" Richie asked.  
  
"What if he got drunk and did this to himself is what I want to know. It's possible MacLeod, you know what people are capable of when they get drunk," Joe said.  
  
"Yeah, they can do damage, but not like this, this couldn't have happened if he walked into anything, crashed into anybody, rolled down a hill, went out and drowned. This isn't self inflicted, Joe, this is massive chaos, what are we supposed to do with him?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I'd say go find him again," Richie said.  
  
"What?" Duncan asked.  
  
"The window in his bedroom's open again, he can't be there," Richie said.  
  
With all this nonsense happening, Duncan had forgotten that he couldn't feel Methos' prescence anymore, anymore he found it hard to tell the difference from feeling an Immortal's presence and being steamed hotter than a lobster. He ran into his room and sure enough, it was empty, he looked out the window to see if he had just gotten out, he couldn't find him anywhere.  
  
"Now what?" Joe asked.  
  
"My guess is back to Route 3," Duncan said.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
And come an hour later, Joe came back with Methos, draped in a trenchcoat, Duncan could tell when they came in, Methos was wasted, so he went to be of help and found he practically had a corpse in his hands.  
  
"What happened?" Duncan asked.  
  
"When I got to the house, I found him in the upstairs bedroom, draped in a bedsheet with a wreath of crabgrass in his hair, acting beyond strange, like he was talking to Julieas Caeser or something," Joe said.  
  
"Oh boy," Duncan laughed, "I wonder what he'll do next."  
  
Well, the next one was so bad, they had to strap him to his bed as he continued muttering, "Red Leader! Red Leader, I'm going down! Man the grenades, string the barbed wire, fire that machine gun! Man that bazooka and don't stop till you see a white flag!"  
  
"I don't get it, what's gotten into him?" Richie thought.  
  
"I don't know but I can already tell you I don't like it, it's like he's completely gone out of his mind," Duncan said, "in fact I'd go as far to say things can't get any worse than this."  
  
There was a knock at the door, Duncan could only wonder who would be coming by at this time of night.  
  
There was a woman at the door, looking in about her mid 30s, 5'9, Caucasian, long sandy hair, blue eyes, and apparently she had business with someone there.  
  
"Hello, I'm Duncan MacLeod, may I help you?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Maybe you can...I got a phone call today from someone asking me to come down here, they said it was urgent," the woman replied.  
  
"Your name?" Duncan aksed.  
  
"Marie Heuller."  
  
"Marie Heuller..." Duncan went through a list of people he spoke with about business, antique research, etc, but he couldn't find her name anywhere on the list.  
  
"Well, Mrs..."  
  
"Miss."  
  
"Miss Heuller, I'm afraid that I have no idea who called you, but if you have..."  
  
"I'm here to see Methos."  
  
Duncan's heart dropped from his chest and stopped, "I beg your pardon?"  
  
"I got a call from someone to come down here and see Methos," she siad.  
  
"Are you a relative?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I'm his fian'ce," Marie answered.  
  
"What?" Duncan asked.  
  
End of chapter 4 


	5. Never Left Behind

Never Left Behind  
  
"Methos' fiance?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Yes," Marie answered, "are you a friend of his?"  
  
"For the time being...I suppose."  
  
"Well, I'm surprised he didn't tell you about me," Marie said.  
  
"How long have you 2 been engaged?" Duncan asked.  
  
"About 3 months," Marie said, "usually by now he's told someone something about anything if I know that man, is he allright?"  
  
"I'm not sure how to tell you this..." Duncan exhaled.  
  
"He's dead?" Marie asked.  
  
"No, he's not dead, he seems to be in perfect physical health, but mentally...."  
  
"Where is he?" Marie clutched Duncan by his shirt near the neck.  
  
"Upstairs."  
  
Marie ran up the stairs and into Methos' room, he was awake or so it seemed.  
  
"Methos, what happened?" Marie asked.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked.  
  
"Now he's starting to sound amnesiac, maybe that's good," Richie whispered to Duncan.  
  
"I don't think so, do you know who this lady is?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Who?" Richie asked.  
  
"His fiance," Duncan said.  
  
"Fi-an-ce?" Richie spat, "Holy.."  
  
"Watch your tongue, you're in the presence of a lady," Duncan said.  
  
"Sure, but which one?" Joe laughed.  
  
"You're not surprised by this?" Duncan asked.  
  
"In a way, no," Joe laughed.  
  
"You mean you KNEW she was coming?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Knew it? Duncan, I'm the one who called her!" Joe told him.  
  
"You WHAAAAAAT!?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I have a question," Methos said, "Who are you? Who am I? Why am I purple?"  
  
"Methos, listen to me, you've had the daylights knocked out of you somehow, now Marie is your fiance, do you remember her?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Who are you?" Methos asked.  
  
"I'm Duncan MacLeod and you're Methos..............."  
  
"What's wrong?" Joe broke the silence.  
  
"It just occured to me that we don't even know if this guy has a last name," Duncan said, "I suppose when you're a 5,000 year old myth, you can get away with it."  
  
"Will someone mind telling me what's going on?" Marie asked.  
  
"Would you mind explaining to me why she's here?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I was going through his address book when I found her phone number circled in red, so I figured SHE must be pretty important, so I asked her to come over," Joe said.  
  
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Are YOU?!" Joe returned, "Come on MacLeod, we don't know what's going on, we don't know what it's going to take to spark his memory, maybe she can do something with his mind."  
  
"I'd say that for the moment, someone's been doing more than just picking at it," Duncan said.  
  
"Would you mind telling me what is going on here?" Marie asked.  
  
"It's a long story, but in short," Duncan started.  
  
"This guy's been missing for 3 weeks and we just found him today beaten to a bloody pulp," Richie said.  
  
"Yeah, that's about as simple as it can be put," Duncan said.  
  
Duncan turned around and saw that Methos had apparently passed out again, Duncan started shaking him to knock some sense into him. Just when it seemed that he wasn't going to come to again, he did, grabbed Duncan and kissed him.  
  
"You sorry son of a..." Duncan kicked the bed, "What's wrong with you, man?"  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Meanwhile, Richie was in the kitchen talking to Marie, trying to find out how she came to know Methos.  
  
"How long ago did you meet this guy?"  
  
"About 6 months, we met in Europe during an election."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Private business, I can't really say," Marie said.  
  
"And you don't find it strange that this guy never gave you his last name?" Richie asked.  
  
"He gave me his full name, see for yourself," Marie took a card out of her pocket and slid it across the table to Richie.  
  
"John Adam Metho-Zimen?" Richie asked.  
  
"He told me people call him Methos for short...only not in public... he told me it was his given name but due to some law-related problem, he had it changed so no one would find him," Marie said.  
  
Richie continued on the stats on the card, "Born August 13, 1960, birth place Perm, Russia, this guy carries cards?"  
  
"You obviously don't seem to know a lot about him," Marie said.  
  
"Well I just met him today," Richie said, "what all did he tell you about himself?"  
  
"He's covered a lot of ground, from Russia to the U.S. to England, Europe, even parts of Germany and Belgium, in one line of work if not the other, doctor, attorney, judge, prosecutor, he seems to do it all," Marie said.  
  
"And then some," Richie grunted, "excuse me a minute."  
  
Richie went back into the bedroom and showed Duncan the card.  
  
"He apparently had these printed up so if anyone found him, they wouldn't be able to recognize him, not as an Immortal, or Watcher, or apparently anybody," Duncan said.  
  
"Wonderful, so basically what we have here is a multiple-personality?" Richie asked.  
  
"Not really, more like a....well.....now that you mention it, I guess that would be a good way of putting it," Joe said.  
  
"Joe!" Duncan said, "that's like saying he's a mental case!"  
  
"So? How's that any different from his current state of mind?" Joe asked.  
  
Duncan hated to admit it but Joe seemed to have a point, right now, Methos had no idea where he was, let-along when he was, as far as he could tell he was back in the 17th Century. It seemed that there was little to no chance of Methos recovering from whatever attack he encountered, mentally.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Joe told Marie it would be best if she left for the rest of the day while they decided what to do about Methos.  
  
"I say we find a good head doctor if you get my point," Richie said.  
  
"I hate to say it but I think you're right," Duncan said.  
  
"Exactly......huh?" Richie asked.  
  
"Come on, you can't be serious," Joe argued.  
  
"Why not? Little while ago you were suggesting the same thing," Duncan told him.  
  
"MacLeod, you can't put him in a mental institution, hell even if he does get his memory back, there's no way THEY'RE going to let him go, they'll think he's just gotten crazier! It's one thing to think you're back in the Civil War, but it's even worse to actually recall being a soldier in it!" Joe said.  
  
Methos heard them arguing and got up in bed, "the Civil War?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I remember.......the Civil War...I remember.....the terrors on the battlefield......"  
  
"We'll keep him here for the night, then if nothing's changed by tomorrow, I'm going to see about finding a psychiatrist who will come to the house," Duncan told them.  
  
To be continued... 


	6. Never Again

Never Again  
  
That night came associated with no rest, Duncan couldn't sleep because he tried thinking about what he had said, the thought of a physchiatrist seeing Methos was bad enough, but the thought of him being in a mental institution was almost impossible to accept. As he passed by the 'guest room', he heard something unfamiliar, he went in and saw what unfortunately, looked like Methos had lost his mind. He was in bed, talking in his sleep, bunched up like he'd been handcuffed behind his back, and screaming like he was fighting someone, Duncan walked over to him and shook him to wake him up.   
  
"What is it?" Methos asked.  
  
"That's what I'd like to know, what happened?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I don't know, I forgot...."  
  
"Forgot what?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I don't know, I can't even remember what I forgot," Methos told him, "if you can believe that."  
  
For some reason, this was relief to Duncan, it almost sounded like Methos was acting like his somewhat normal self again.  
  
"Can I get you a drink?" He asked, trying to be hospitable.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Something without caffiene, I don't want to be up all night."  
  
"Fine, I have that."  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Duncan was in the kitchen pouring a drink when something hit him on the head, he turned on the lights and found Richie behind him with the remains of a vase in his hands.  
  
"Mac, what's the big idea of scaring me half to death? What are you trying to do? You wanna give me a heart attack or something?!"  
  
"Well the first thing I'd have to see would be if that's even possible, what's the idea of trying to brain me with a vase?" Duncan asked.  
  
Richie saw the remains and threw them behind him, "I thought you were someone else."  
  
"That makes 2 of us," Duncan said.  
  
"Then why didn't you do anything?" Richie asked.  
  
"Because, there are only 2 Immortals in this place I can sense, so I knew it had to be either you or Methos, and I don't think he's in the right state of mind to try and behead someone," Duncan said.  
  
"What're you doing? Trying to get him drunk?" Richie eyed the half-empty bottle of scotch on the counter.  
  
"Very funny."  
  
As Duncan was about to put the top back on the bottle, he heard someone call from nearby, 'Macleod!'  
  
That was his cue, Duncan rushed back to Methos' room to see him appear to be a nervous wreck.  
  
"What is it?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Duncan MacLeod, do you have any idea where I've been for the last 3 weeks?" Methos asked.  
  
"What?" Duncan asked.  
  
"3 weeks ago, this whole bloody thing started!" Methos said, "there were 7 of them, MacLeod."  
  
Duncan couldn't fully understand what Methos had just said, if he was trying to tell him that 7 Immortals had beaten the daylights out of him, then it was possible he HAD gone completely insane.  
  
"What?" Duncan asked, hoping he misunderstood.  
  
"Five Immortals, they found me in Swedan and immediately beat me to a pulp," he said.  
  
"Five?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Them, and 2 mortal flunkies....I don't know.........someone had knocked me out, the next thing I knew....the 5 of them were standing over me, hitting me with everything they had, after that...I blacked out......then....."  
  
"Then?" Duncan vexed.  
  
"Then I woke up in the trunk of a BMW heading to Oregon, I don't know how long I was out, I don't know how I got the US, by that time, I couldn't even remember who I was. For the next 100 miles, every 25 miles, the car stopped, someone came around to the trunk, beat me over the head with a tire iron," Methos said.  
  
"Why didn't you try to escape?" Duncan asked.  
  
"There were some kind of restraints in the trunk...I----I don't know what happened after that, all I remember was one of the mortals beat me with a club and then they left me....They thought I was dead...then I just started wandering around the area, and that's when I ran into you......"  
  
"I don't get it, 5 Immortals teamed up with 2 mortals and they didn't even try to behead you?" DUncan asked.  
  
"They didn't know what they were, MacLeod, they were new Immortals, all they knew was that someone wanted me dead and they decided to carry out the deed," Methos said.  
  
"Do you remember what they looked like?" Duncan asked.  
  
"No, I can hardly even remember what I was doing around the time they knocked me out," Methos said.  
  
"I don't believe this," Duncan said.  
  
He was practically in shock, hearing that the oldest known Immortal had been to hell and back at the hands of 5 Immortals.  
  
"There's more," Methos said, "in between the time that I was in the trunk of the car, and the final beating, they put me in an insane asylum."  
  
"A what?" Duncan asked.  
  
"A mental institution MacLeod," Methos said, "I spent almost 2 weeks in there, they thought I was crazy enough when I came in, they thought it was even crazier when I healed, they were going to use electro-shock treatment on me."  
  
"What happened?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Luckily for me, some of their crazy contraptions overheated, starting a fire, that gave me and 20 other prisoners the ability to escape...however, as soon as I was out of sight from that place, one of them threw me into the trunk and locked it and drove out of there," Methos said.  
  
Duncan stayed up most of the night listneing to Methos' story of ambush, amnesia, blood by the gallons, hijack, imprisonment, and escape, it was a long and twisted experience, leaving Methos with just one more thing to say...  
  
"Never again, MacLeod...Never again am I going to find myself at the mercy of the likes of them..."  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Come morning, Methos was out cold in bed, when Richie came in and Methos woke up.  
  
"Uh....Hi Methos.....Adam......whoever you are, I just came in to get a few things, when you came here, I was using this place as a guest room and when you got moved into it, I moved some of my things into Mac's room and I left a few things in here," Richie said.  
  
"Who are you?" Methos asked.  
  
Richie figured Methos was still having his memory spills (Duncan didn't get around to telling him he got his memory back) and decided to go along with it.  
  
"Uh.....General Ryan, Sergeant, looks like we're going to have a real massacre on the battlefield today," Richie saluted.  
  
"Are you kidding? What year is this?" Methos asked.  
  
"1898 Sergeant, looks like we' in the middle of the Civil War, Sergeant," Richie said.  
  
"I should hope you mean 1995, otherwise I'm in a lot of trouble," Methos said.  
  
"Are you serious?" Richie asked, "You mean you actually know who and where you are?"  
  
"Well, let's see if I can remember, my name is Methos, I'm 5,000 years old, I know Caesar's favorite food, Helen of Troy released a hundred soldiers and not a thousand, and..."  
  
"Blah, blah, blah," Duncan came into the room, "come on Richie, leave Methos alone, the man's entitled to get some rest after being knocked out, beaten over the head with a tire iron and locked in a mental institution for 2 weeks."  
  
Ducnan dragged Richie out of the room by his suspenders to give Methos some peace and quiet. Methos grabbed a pen off the dresser and threw it at the doorway, Duncan popped his head in for a minute, "Yes?"  
  
"Thanks, MacLeod."  
  
"Well, what do you expect? I can't leave you at the hands of Richie, you'd never get any rest with him."  
  
"I'll tell you what, when he started acting like it was the Civil War...that brought back a real heck of a memory for me...imagine this, it's the middle of Spring, and you have the North and South going at each other's throats, blood building up in the ground, soldiers dropping like flies, others, the ones you really want to see get killed, refuse to die...and where do you think I was during all that?" Methos asked.  
  
Duncan decided to humor him and take a wild guess, "North side?"  
  
"No."  
  
"South side?"  
  
"No."  
  
"What were you doing that whole time? Were you on the fence?" Duncan asked.  
  
"No, I was on both sides," Methos said.  
  
"What?" Duncan cracked.  
  
"Yes....picture it, me in a half and half uniform, with both flags, marching east one day, west the next," Methos said.  
  
"I don't believe this," Duncan laughed.  
  
"You think that's bad? One day a heavy wind blew up, both flags are shown to everyone, and they're chasing a 4,903 year old turncoat...Both sides teamed up to hunt me down, fortunately they lost me when I disappeared in the river," Methos said.  
  
By this time, Duncan had completely turned into a hyena, the thought of Methos being on both sides, only to have them start a witch hunt with him as the target, was just hysterical.  
  
"I suppose it appears more humorous to someone who wasn't there," Methos said.  
  
"I WAS in the Civil War, but I don't remember seeing you," Duncan laughed.  
  
"You were probably asleep on the job," Methos told him.  
  
"Please, during the Civil War, I got no sleep," Duncan said, "however....."  
  
"However what?" Methos asked.  
  
"There was one point where someone shot me and.....It was about an hour before I came back, I guess by that time, you were already swimming for.....wherever it was..."  
  
"Canada."  
  
Duncan howled at that one, "I suppose you were in a dress too, huh?"  
  
"Not a dress," Methos denied, "......evening gown."  
  
Duncan picked up on his laughing, he kept it up until he fell on the floor, at the end of it, he was still laughing, and all he could say was, "I love this man, don't ever change, Methos."  
  
"It's in my contract, I have to around every turn of the century," Methos told him.  
  
Hearing that, Duncan fell back on the floor laughing, then he realized what he pulled Richie out for, "I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone."  
  
"Naaaa, don't bother, these last 3 weeks have been worse than being dead, come on, let's get out of this room, you can introduce me to that kid."  
  
"And then maybe you can introduce us to your fiance," Duncan said.  
  
"She's here?"   
  
"Not now, but she'll be back..."  
  
"Okay, where do I begin?"  
  
"Europe I think..."  
  
"What year?"  
  
"THIS year you old fool!"  
  
"You don't need to yell, I'm not deaf," Methos said.  
  
"Well I better warn you, Richie can get pret-ty loud when he wants to, so you might want to see about picking up some ear plugs."  
  
"Have them."  
  
"Which reminds me, Joe got the number for your fiance out of your address book, and he put it..."  
  
"Have that too."  
  
"And your wallet?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Zippo?"  
  
"Right here."  
  
"Is there anything you DON'T have?"   
  
"Yeah, a clue on how to get out of this place. I've seen better places in Calcutta..."  
  
"Well if that's the way it is, I'll be glad to mail you there."  
  
"You and what army?"  
  
"Me, myself, and I."  
  
"That's not much of an army."  
  
"It is when 'their' fists are gripped around your neck."  
  
"So now you're an octopous?"   
  
"Don't get me started."  
  
"I never start a fight this early in the morning....sober that is, do you have a wine rack?"  
  
"Liquor cabinet," Duncan replied.  
  
"That'll do..."  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
A few hours later, after getting introduced to Richie, introducing everyone to Marie, this that and the other, it seemed that everything was calmed down and back to normal, well.....almost.  
  
Richie went in the kitchen and found Duncan with a magic marker and a half empty bottle of scotch.  
  
"Mac, what're you doing?"  
  
"Drawing a line on my best bottle, I think Methos has been sneaking a few shots."  
  
"Well I think we'll find out, here he comes."  
  
Methos came in the kitchen looking his regular self, up, active, and ready to insult someone.  
  
"Hey Methos, can I offer you a drink?" Duncan asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Scotch."  
  
"How old is it?"  
  
"40 years."  
  
"No thanks, I don't like the new stuff," Methos said, "besides, I'm due in London in 9 hours, I better get going."  
  
"Business?"  
  
"No, marriage."  
  
"Oh, congratulations," Duncan said.  
  
"Why London?" Richie asked.  
  
"Seems far enough away, someone leaked to the Watchers I'm still alive, and someone traced me here, so I'm heading to England, and with any luck, they'll think I'm a rotting corpse somewhere...Well, good to see you again Duncan, nice meeting you Kid, now if you'll excuse me, we have a wedding to tend to."  
  
With that, Methos and Marie left, Duncan popped open the bottle of scotch and poured a large drink.  
  
"What's wrong?" Richie asked.  
  
"His company drove me to drink," Duncan said, "Methos is a nice guy, not a bad friend, but you sure don't want to have to live with him." 


End file.
